What would you do in this situation?

My husband pretty much got a child dropped on his lap about 3 years ago, he knows the kid is his because it's freaky how much they look alike. His "ex" brought him to court for child support. He got order to pay 460.00 in monthly support PLUS over 8000.00 for back child support. She lives over 500 miles from where we live, so it's very hard for us to go see him due to work and our children that we have together. So we haven't seen him since the summer and now she emailed me and said she doesn't want us to have any contact with him. This is not right. I don't believe she should even have custody of him. She gets money from the state/government for being mentally unstable (seriously no joke) she also has had him taken away 2 or 3 times by CPS plus CPS has been called on her a LOT. (and they did not give us him when he was taken away because at the time we didn't know about him and she doesn't have him listed as the father on any paper work/birth certificate nor does the child have his last name) What would you do? Does any of that sound legal???? I mean when he went to court the Judge himself even said I don't even know why you have custody. We just want other people's opinions before we put money into a lawyer and the lawyer doesn't do anything ya know?